For the first time, I think maybe I'm better off alone

I Know It Sounds Cheesy

but the first time I looked into your eyes they really did take my breath away.



When you caught my eye (back when we were 'just friends' even though everyone saw right through us) it was like everything around us went fuzzy and faded into darkness.




It was always so hard to look away.


I've spent the better part of the last half year wishing I could turn back time to when your heart beat faster just from being close to me. To when I made you want to be better. To when you made me better.

Self.Centred.

This is a lost cause



Fuck.You.





You C**t






Fuck Off You Fucking Bitch






(tonight i learn how to disappear completely, tonight I stop fighting the voices in my head. They sound like you, every single one, they scream these words and I cannot fight any longer)

                                                Who Are You?

I sat there lost in misery

half of me hoping you would come and put your arms around me and make everything right.
half of me trying to stop crying.


You left me there.

I don't know how long I was alone for.

It hurts very much when you realise the one you love has stopped caring the way you used to.

It hurts very much indeed.

Homesick

I do everything in slow motion.

I'm not really here.



I'm on fake grass, hiding a smile behind my hands feeling warm from the closeness of your body. 
I'm in a grey classroom, conjugating French verbs, waiting.
I'm in those eyes. In them I looked better than what I am.


But I'm here, really.

I want to go home

It kept getting worse, and worse.

And now I am 15 again.

And I will never trust anyone ever again.