How am I still breathing

Today was not as bad as yesterday. Mostly because it only began at 2pm. I haven't heard from you, still. I didn't contact you either. But now it's almost 2am and I know when I crawl under those covers and turn off the light I won't be able to run from the thoughts any more. I don't want to think about why you haven't said or done anything. I don't want to wonder if it was all a lie. I don't want to feel the anger that comes with realising you're perfectly fine without me. My eyes are pleading for just one night with no tears. But we all know that's a wish that won't be fulfilled any time soon.

It's been a while

It's been a long, long while. 

I guess this is how you know I've hit rock bottom. I have nowhere else to go. I have no one I can talk to. and if I did, what would I say?

I would trade all my worldly possessions, every single thing, for an end to this loneliness.

My eyes are always puffy, I've lost my voice from screaming into my pillow every night, the collection of scars on my upper thighs gets bigger by the day. Plenty of room there at least, you fat bitch.

Why is it so easy for everyone else? How do they not feel this way.



Someone help me.